Confidence, reconsidered

We often talk about confidence as something that comes from certainty. From knowing what to do. From being prepared enough that nothing unexpected can throw us off.

But that version of confidence is fragile. It depends on things going to plan.

Over time, I have realised that the confidence I trust most is different. It shows up when things are live. When I am present. When I have to respond rather than rehearse.

I first noticed this properly years ago, on a Thursday night, in a radio station in Copenhagen.

Thursday nights, on air

The station itself was relaxed and friendly. Very Danish. The music was mainstream. Local pop, familiar voices, a steady rhythm people knew well.

They wanted something different for Thursday nights. A rock show. And somehow, I fit.

I knew my music deeply. Rock was already part of my world. I had interviewed bands, written about them, and spent years listening closely. Talking on the radio felt natural too. I had done it during my studies and loved the immediacy of it. You had to be present, not perfect.

I did a test. They liked it. That was enough.

"Thursday nights. Seven o’clock. Two hours live on air."

The ON AIR feeling

Everyone at the station ran their own desk. That was simply part of the job. Mixing levels, cueing tracks, talking, adjusting as you went. Technical, yes, but also straightforward once you found the rhythm.

What stayed with me was the moment the red ON AIR light came on.

That small rush of adrenaline.That sharpened focus.That sense of being fully switched on.

There was no time to overthink. No drafts or retakes. Just the next song, the next sentence, the next moment.

I did not need to know exactly how the next two hours would unfold. I trusted myself to respond, to adjust, and to keep things moving. If something unexpected happened, and it always did, you dealt with it in real time and carried on.

That was the confidence. Not certainty. Presence.

Confidence in motion

For some people, confidence comes from control. For others, it comes from preparation.

For me, it has always arrived in motion.

When things are live.When attention is in the body.When the mind is focused on what is happening now, not what might happen next.

That Thursday night radio slot was not about pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It was about recognising that my comfort zone lives in moments where I am engaged and alert.

That matters for mental health too.

So much anxiety comes from trying to predict outcomes. From running scenarios ahead of time. From waiting until we feel ready enough.

But some of us do not find confidence in certainty. We find it in presence. In doing.

The good feeling

That ON AIR feeling is something I have recognised again and again since. In movement. In fitness. In conversations. In moments where you stop thinking ahead and start responding to what is actually happening.

It is not loud confidence. It is not performative.

It is a quiet trust in yourself to handle the moment you are in.

Those Thursday nights gave me more than a radio show. They gave me a clue about how I work best.

I do not need everything mapped out to feel grounded.I need to be engaged.Present.A little bit challenged.Alive in my body.

That is a good feeling. And it is one I still look for.

Not certainty.Not perfection.

Just being on air, in whatever form that takes.